How do you find the right BDSM Dominatrix/Mistress? (and why I might not be the one for you)

BDSM toys

Choosing the right Mistress for your exploration and deepening of your BDSM journey is even more important than the toys you might like picked out for your session. Thankfully the internet is a wonderful, powerful tool almost all of us have at our disposal (and in our pockets today) so finding a Dominatrix for your kinky desires has never been easier! But with all this information, thousands of options, pages and pages of BDSM and kink content, it can also be a little over whelming and even over saturated. How do you go about finding the FemDomme of your dreams amongst all of this kinky noise?

The first place we usually start is by typing in our location, which is the most helpful thing anyone can do when trying to find any service. Having a look in London, Leeds, Birmingham, Manchester, Chester etc to see who the Mistress; are, what they look like and what they offer is a fun, informative and easy way to start your search. Beyond this however, your search style needs to be refined and you need to know what you are looking for. Searching for Manchester or London Dominatrix will send back tens if not hundreds of names, images and options. And just because someone is beautiful, sexy, has expensive latex or professional photos does NOT mean they are the right Mistress for you. So what does the right Mistress for you even mean?

If your’e a seasoned player or experienced slave you will likely know a lot about what you like, what you don’t like and what kind of session content and rhythm you enjoy most. If you are somewhat new to the world of kink then a good way to start is to write down the things you think you’re interested in as well as a list of things you’ve heard of/seen but don’t really understand AND a list of things you definitely don’t want to try (hard limit list). Next, you could write a list of things you think would be important if you saw a professional Dominatrix. Things like, wears latex, big boobs, not too young, likes wearing boots, stern, mean or kind. This will help you build a better idea of what kind of Mistress is your dream Mistress.

Once you feel like you have a good idea of what kind of BDSM Mistress you want, have a look at your areas Mistress’ and make sure you really read what it says on their websites. One of the biggest mistakes clients make is not reading our websites and then writing to us because they are physically attracted to us, asking for services we simple don’t provide or kinks we don’t offer. We spend a fair bit of time, money and energy creating and updating our websites for the exact purpose of giving you all the information you will need to know if we are the one for you!

Now, lets get into the nitty gritty of how to know if a Mistress is really, the right one for you.

A great looking, latex clad Mistress might seem like your ideal, she might even mention foot worship in their list of likes but is there more to finding a good BDSM connection than those mentioned? Can you find anywhere on their website that gives you an insight into how they conduct their sessions and what kind of Mistress they are? I am not talking about the list of like and kinks they have on their website, but what can you find about their personality? Look for words that tell you a little about a Domme’s personality because believe Me (and not your hard on) latex, sexy body and a pretty face are not he main things when you are tumbling down the rabbit hole of BDSM kink.

Look for words associated with her session style – traditional, sensual, tactile, strict, sadistic, harsh, heavy, intense – these all tell slightly different stories about the way they will conduct. Traditional generally means no touching of the Mistress and no sex with the Mistress along with traditional protocols (honorific must be used, behavioural correction, slave conduct). Sensual and tactile are words that allude to a Mistress that will touch you (intimately or non intimately) and be close and sensual with the way they dominate you. Strict, sadistic, harsh and intense are words you would be encouraged to take seriously as less sensual, less soft types of sessions and more focused on pushing limits, playing with pain etc. See, there is so much you can learn just by properly reading the website of the Dominatrices you find!

But what about personality? Keep reading and you will likely see hints of whether the Mistress is kind and caring or strictly sadistic and cold. Is their persona more of a sultry Goddess or are they the meanest mean bitch ever that will only ever spit on and make fun of you. Do they cater for newbies, do they have an age limit? *Pro tip* If you see role playing amongst their likes you can always ask for certain behavioural traits to be played out too!

All of these things will help you really pin point who is the right Dominatrix for you.

As for Me? Well if you are looking for a mean girl, I can play the role but My traditional, tactile and strict style of Domination lends itself to caring and nurturing as well as sensual and intense. If you want a school bully, you’ll have to request a role play session with Me because I am naturally tending towards empathy, eroticism, mind fucking and corporal punishment.

Sensual, sadistic, tactile and traditional Dominatrix