How long should a couples session be?

Longer than a solo session. Two people means twice the reactions to read and twice the aftercare, so an hour that is generous for one person is tight for two.

Why do both partners have to speak to the Dominatrix separately?

Because one partner arranging a session on behalf of the other is where couples sessions go wrong. Speaking to each of you alone is how I know you both want to be there.

What Happens in a Couples BDSM Session?

Q: What happens in a couples BDSM session?

Both partners are consented separately and in confidence first, then the session is arranged around what you both asked for. It starts slowly, builds, and ends with aftercare held for the two of you together.

A couples session is one Dominatrix and two people who arrived together. It isn't a duo, which is two Dominants and a single client, and the two get confused constantly.

Here's the actual shape of one, in order.

Before anything is booked, I hear from both of you

Separately, and in confidence. That means two conversations, not one, and it is the part of the format that matters most.

The reason is plain. One partner arranging a session on behalf of the other, however lovingly, is where these go wrong, and the only way to know that both of you want to be in the room is to ask each of you on your own. It also lets each of you tell me something you're not ready to say in front of the other, which is more common than you'd think and completely fine.

Then we agree what kind of evening it is

Who's leading, who's receiving, whether I'm dominating you both or working alongside one of you, and what's firmly off the table for each of you. Two people means two sets of limits, and they're rarely identical. Where they differ, the narrower one holds.

You'll also agree a word that pauses everything. It works for the whole session, for either of you, including for things you said yes to an hour earlier.

The session itself

It starts slower than people expect. There's a settling-in period where very little happens, because two nervous people in a strange room need a few minutes more than one does, and because I want to watch how you are with each other before I start rearranging it.

From there it builds. What it builds into is whatever we agreed, and the honest answer to "what will it be like" is that it depends entirely on what the two of you asked for. Anticipation does a great deal of the work. So does watching your partner have an experience you arranged together.

How long it takes

Longer than a solo session. Two people means two sets of reactions to read and twice the aftercare, and an hour that would be generous for one person is tight for two. Say what you're hoping for and I'll tell you what I'd want for it.

Afterwards

Aftercare is held for both of you, together. You arrived together and you leave together, and the hour afterwards belongs to the session as much as the session does. Expect to be quiet, hungry and slightly stupid for a while. That's normal and it passes.

What you take away

Most couples describe the same thing: they now have words for something they'd only been able to gesture at, and a way of asking each other for it again without a professional in the room.

Femdom for couples covers the idea more broadly. Couples sessions in London is the page about booking one, and there's a field on the enquiry form for your partner's email so I can hear from you both.

What happens in a couples session